Where'd you go

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Heyo everyone.
This is Beatrice helping Darren to UPDATE his blog :)
Please come to this website. it is cool.

Darren told me not use red
but i like da colour red so much
SO haha
IM USING RED

Darren's favorite song of the day: The first cut is the deepest and 3 little birds by Bob Marley
Darren's favorite food: i dunno, singapore food :)

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{/.8:06 PM}

Alrighty..i know i know..the recent posts have been just a liitle depressing..lol...but guess what..i'm making up for it now!

Painting i did...oil on canvas...used the pic below as a refrence

"Love of God"

"missing you"

France, burgundy

Another oil on canvas...did it in about 3 hours.

well...i've got 5 minutes so i decided to stuff some pics on...anyways...life's been kinda ok...breezing thru school and all...anyways..i'm going to be pretty quiet for a while...
alright..gta go.... ciao

Labels: canvas, france, heart, oil paintings, paintings

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{/.3:13 PM}

Where'd you go?

I miss you so,

Seems like it's been forever,

That you've been gone.

You know the place where you used to live,

Used to barbecue up burgers and ribs,

Used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,

But now, you only stop by every once and a while,

Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,

With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,

I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,

You can call me if you find that you have something to say,

And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little messed up,

That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',

Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,

Me and the rest of the family here singing

Where'd you go?

I miss you so,

Seems like it's been forever,

That you've been gone.

I want you to know it's a little messed up,

That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',

Tired of sittin' and hating and making these excuses,

For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,

It seems that one thing has been true all along,

You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,

I guess I've had it with you and your life,

When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...

Where'd you go?

I miss you so,

Seems like it's been forever,

That you've been gone.

Where'd you go?

I miss you so,

Seems like it's been forever,

That you've been gone,

Please come back home.

[where'd you go, Fort minor]

***

Where'd you go? where did the love go..had it vanished from the earth? from our hearts? or did it just vanish in yours...i wish things never turned out this way...

***

"Things have gotten so bad between us

I don't see us ever being together ever again

Like we used to be

But then of course everything always happens for a reason

I guess it was never meant to be

But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is"

[mockingbird, Eminem]

***

Destiny..haha..is that another one of our feeble attempts to explain what happened? Do you know how hurt i was when you just let me go...just like that..i felt dissapointed...why did we have to end it like that? couldnt it have been a more gentle process? couldnt we have done something so as to avoid what things are now?

i guess not

***

"Against the wind I’m going home again

Wishing be back to the time when we were more than friends"

[25 minutes, MLTR]

***

Whats in the past, we cannot change..but as time passes, i'm still sitting down, reminiscing the times we used to have... do you really want the truth? When you told me that you thought i was the biggest liar, i felt hurt...deeply hurt and...forget it.i deserved that...but at that moment, i really wanted to say that you were exactly the same. what different were you? you told me that you'll like me forever. Let me tell you now. Only God's love would last forever. i'm sorry if i dissapoint you..i just had to say it out..sorry.

***

Did I disappoint you or let you down? Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?

You touched my heart you touched my soul. You changed my life and all my goals.

You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take. And as you move on, remember me,Remember us and all we used to be

Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me.

[Goodbye my lover, James Blunt]

***

Saying Goodbye to the times. Thanks for the memories. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Reminisence

Labels: past, reminisence, you

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{/.7:54 PM}

Love and Hate..what exactly are the definitions? fear? Does fear exist? what Is your deepest fear..what is my deepest fear? One of the greatest quotes i've ever heard.."Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Letting our lights shine, we unconsiously give others the permission to do the same..

Life really goes by in a flash...now turning 15, already one year has passed. sometimes..it just gets so difficult to forget the past...all the memories..all drifting back..well...what can i do...i could never change the past...
Something happened recently that really helped me understand the truth... it helped me understand that in life..not everything would go your way...but we, as people are constantly trying to get the better of it. I know that i'm very blessed to even get the chance to live in a foreign land..but i realised that even now, in this new age, racism still exists among the races.

There was this thing i onced read bout Bob Marley.

Bob Marley had this idea. It was kind of a virologist idea. He believed that you could cure racism and hate... literally cure it, by injecting music and love into people's lives. When he was scheduled to perform at a peace rally, a gunman came to his house and shot him down. Two days later he walked out on that stage and sang. When they asked him why - He said, "The people, who were trying to make this world worse... are not taking a day off. How can I? Light up the darkness."

The people who are making this world worse are not taking a day off. so why should we? why should we, seeing a friend in need of our care and concern..maybe even advice, just sit there and watch?

This time here in beijing had really given me a whole new set of life lessons. I've been allowed to see so many new things and experience a totally different style of living.

But even through all that..we all have our problems dont we...
I've been having a few.. but one paticular one has been really ringing in my head, constantly probing for an answer. how much would you give up to truly love someone? Is it true that lovng someone, you need not be with them, just their happiness would be suficient? is that true love? then why would love be something joyful? wouldnt it be filled with worries, sorrow, jealousy? Especially when you've spent all your time together with the person, but all she ever talks about is that other guy whom she is totallhy in love with..you can only sit there and watch as they get cloder and closer, while you guys get further and further apart. friends and girlfriends/(boyfriends if you are a girl) just can't coexist

Labels: bob marley, HAte, Life, love, racism

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{/.5:34 PM}

Well...how long has it been since i last blogged;/ well , besides air, this blog was like..well...dead....anywayy....had such a fun day yesterday..haha...Matt always being blamed for things i did and what not..haha...went to hang out with Matt, Diana and Laura at orchard...well...mostly for the musical...it was pretty cool... although it was mostly in hokkien (or canto..same diffrence) haha...matt under stood whereas i didnt...but it was like a singaporean version of the story of the birth of jesus..haha...oh yea..and By the way, dear air rang me halfway thru the performance...haha...and after that, we like walked in Orchard for a while more/..oh yea..neoprints, matt's worst fear. haha...You know in the movie 'Coach Carter'? when the coach is like "What is your deepest fear?" haha..i really had the urge to say it to him..haha...well...havent had that much fun in a long time...well...we're going again to another one this sunday..haha...hope this time, it'll have a deeper effect on Matt...well...i know we(Laura, Diana and I) all hope that through this, we would somehow be able to persuade, or even allow him to take a first step to get to know God. I really want to thank Laura and Diana for opening this opputunity through their church and also praise God that he has given us such opputunities to be vessels of his name.

Praise the lord!

Labels: winter break

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{/.10:25 AM}

HELLO, DARREN'S DEAR SINGAPOREANS! :D :D :D :D :D
I don't know if you still check this blog (and if you don't, that'd be totally understandable, 'cause it's pretty dead...)
BUT it's not going to be dead anymore! you know WHY?
'cause AIR IS GOING TO MAKE SURE THAT DARREN UPDATES ON A WEEKLY BASIS! xD.
:D :D :D
after all, air is currently on hiatus, meaning that blogging shall no longer be her main form of entertainment.
it's cruel of her to force herself not to blog (on her blog)
but seeing as her dear rafflesians do not know of darren's blog, she can now blog on his blog and totally get away with it! :D :D .
just don't tell them that, or else her ~~laogong~~ they will freak, and they do JUDO, so when they freak out, guess who's in trouble?
xD. -all fingers point at air-
hahaha, nah, they don't kill me. they're more of the "oh, I shall escort you to the mrt station even though it's only 10 meters away because you're a girl who cannot defend herself, and we're guys, and we do judo, so we must protect you and you must sit there obediently" =).
hmph. ah, you've got to love ri guys... -heart melts into this big fat puddle in the middle of nowhere-
okayokayokay.
ANYWAYS.
darren just got back from singapore!
yayy!
but you guys shouldn't be saying 'yayy', you should be crying your poor little hearts out xD.
teehee =).
be jealous! muahahhahaha xD.
ANYWAYYS, don't you just adore changi airport?
last time I was there, I ate expensive waffles =). woots yeah, baby :D
but it's okay :D :D :D :D :D.
it's only once in a lifetime ...
(but then again, EVERYTHING'S 'only once in a lifetime') xD
--
"OHH MOMMY, I WANNA GO TO RG AND MUG MY BUTT OFF!"
"why? o.O Summer is the time for relaxation ..."
"ONLY ONCE IN A LIFETIME, MOMMY!" xD
--
"Remind me why we're coming to sentosa on a rainy day, eating an expensive lunch, then going back to vivo"
"hahahaha, zr, just think -- it's only once in a lifetime xD"
--
"Let's run through that fountain in Harborfront!"
"Uh ... "
-we make sure that we aren't wearing anything that hints at our school-
"Remind me why we're doing this"
"Only once in a lifetime xD"
-- then zr and air catch a cold! xD-

but then, I guess there are sad things that can happen throughout this crazy lifetime of ours. hmm. I shant sulk. ahhh, you know, I think I finally get it all. it's kinda weird. I guess I always go around thinking that it was his fault, but hey, it was my fault too. I guess I kinda remember how it feels. like that time when eug wanted to be friends with me again, I flatly refused. dunno, guess I was playing hard to get? xD. I guess that, sometimes, you just want people to really want you badly enough to abase themselves before you in hope that it'll all be okay. but yeah, eug either didn't want me badly enough, or he cared more about face than he did about our friendship. and I guess that this whole strange cycle is happening all over again. I guess I have too much self-respect to beg. and so I let it all go instead. and yeah, I guess that it'll be okay. after all, eug and i finally got around to seeing how stupid we were, and I dont expect it to be any different this time 'round.
mmm, I guess that, really, we're all just teens with raging hormones, and we can't EXPECT people to truly care in that way right now. long distance relationships really do NOT work. after all, short distance hardly does either. life isn't just some huge korean drama -- it doesn't always work out in the end. persistance plays a huge part, but what are you guys looking for these days anyways? are you all just after the chase? I've seen it more than once. guys hold on for years. then, they get the girl. the guy and the girl break up in one month's time.
wah, the strangeness of this world.. it's quite hard to comprehend.
I guess that, sometimes, people just get into this whole "going out" thing 'cause it gives them some sense of accomplishment or selfworth. after all, if you like this really pretty girl or really "hot" guy, and you finally "get" them, don't you usually feel good that such a good person would be willing to have you? in case you think I'm being really superficial, and that this whole "love" thing [which isn't really love] is not dependent on looks, I would like you to closely examine yourself =). it's easy to say that it's not dependent on looks or talents -- and to some extent, it's quite true. you don't always go for the hunks or the supermodels, do you? but at the same time, the people you like are almost always at LEAST average when it comes to looks. guys -- do you prefer skinny or fat? pimples or no pimples? double eyelid or single eyelid? the ones who can do everything or the ones who can't do anything?
and girls -- including myself. do you prefer the nerd or the basketball guy [drools]? the muscular one or the scrawny/fat one? the pimply one or the one with no pimples? the one who can sweet-talk or the one who is constantly tongue-tied? huh? xD.
and be honest lah. 'cause I know you'd almost always go for the better-looking and more talented ones. they're usually more confident too, come to think of it.
you know, sometimes, it's really hard to see beauty, talent and potential in things that aren't perceived to be "good", "smart", "hott" etc by society. but there's potential in everyone. right?
why let grades, teen mags and psle results determine who you are?
there are unbimbotic scgs girls, hwa chong guys who can't speak chinese, poor acs guys, smart -- and by this, I mean the 'smarter than me, smarter than many people' type of smart -- people who go to schools that others look down on, stupid rafflesians [okay, I still love raffles more than you love your school xD], etc. and the list goes on.
okayokay, I'm blabbering about random stuff. have orientation tomorrow, gotta be early and NOT have eyebags for the lovely new students =). or else they'll think that us ycisers are zombies or smt xD.
nightsnights!

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{/.10:08 PM}

Hres smthin 4 all u ppl.....

小微
C Am
有一个美丽的小女孩，
Dm G
她的名字, 叫做小微。
C Am
她有双温柔的眼睛。
Dm G C
她悄悄偷走我的心。
Am Am
小微啊，你可知道我爱你。
Dm G
我要带你, 飞到天上去.
C Am
看那星星多么美丽，
Dm G C
摘下一颗，亲手送给你.

C Am
有一个美丽的小女孩，
Dm G
她的名字, 叫做小微。
C Am
她有双温柔的眼睛。
Dm G C
她悄悄偷走我的心。
Am Am
小微啊，你可知道我爱你。
Dm G
我要带你, 飞到天上去.
C Am
看那星星多么美丽，
Dm G C
摘下一颗，亲手送给你.

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{/.8:32 PM}

u kno de song welcome to my life? The one which goes ' To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark. To be kicked when you're down, to feel like you've been pushed around. To be on the edge of breaking down, when no one's there to save you' As i was readin it, i realized how much similarity i shared with my life.....god help me....

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{/.8:32 PM}

hre is a small section i found rather hilarious on miyagi.sg

One of the said brain-jamming moments is when I’m sitting here on my computer, trying to type out another three pages of Hossan’s Barry Manilow spoof when I’m suddenly aware of the upstairs neighbour’s kid (or actually it could be the parent, or any human occupant of the upstairs flat, or a very intelligent pet, or… ok I’m scaring myself) trying his or her darndest to hammer out on their piano, the main Star Wars theme song, very, very diligently, very, very slowly. For an hour.
Now I’ve the Star Wars theme stuck in my head, and worse, it’s in the broken piano format.
I should be glad they’re not singing along to it though:
“I like to play the Star Wars, to play the Star Wars, on this piano!At night, I play the Star Wars, I play the Star Wars, song for a while!I may not be the best pianist you’ve heard in your entire life,But you can be sure, I’ll play for you for free!You may not be the greatest fan of this stupid movie themeBut sing along, and then you can’t stop too…”
- repeat ad nauseum to the tune of Star Wars

see it all at Miyagi.sg

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{/.8:32 PM}